Fighting Fear
by middleagedactressesownme
Summary: This story is set at the end of Season 15, so it has been almost three years since Olivia has had any form of contact with Elliot. No phone calls, voicemails, letters, text messages, nothing.
1. chapter 1

It was an especially snowy and cold night in downtown Manhattan, which meant that Olivia Benson wanted to be anywhere but home. For some reason, being trapped at home in her one bedroom apartment did not satisfy her craving to be with other people. She simply felt useless, like the broken flashlight you leave in the junk drawer and forget is there until you clean it out. She just couldn't stand being in that musty, mold-covered box any longer.

Chills exploded on her olive-toned skin the second the door opened, and she rushed to her car as her dark wool coat was lifted by the cool winds. As she fiddled through her purse to find the keys, her phone started to buzz. The name displayed across the screen was one that she had not seen in a while. One that made her heart beat faster, and made tears threaten to spill over. She declined the call, turning her phone completely off, and driving over to the local coffee shop.

"I'll have a black coffee, a small should be fine. Thank you." Her voice was soft, and a little hoarse from the temperature change since it was very warm inside. Olivia held her phone, tapping her fingers over the screen which imitated the action to unlock it. She needed to know what that person had decided to call her, why now? Why on a random winter night did something in their mind switch or shift?

"I'll just ignore it, probably was some sort of misdial anyways." She whispered to herself, placing her phone back into her bag and inhaling deeply through her nostrils.

"One small black coffee." A young blonde waitress places the ceramic mug in front of her, gives her a soft smile, and walks down to a booth that seated a couple. Olivia just gave a small smile in return, a thousand thoughts still swirling in her brain. She grabs to white cup and brings the hot liquid to her lips, taking a large gulp and feels the warm coffee travel down into her stomach. Something about coffee was always comforting to Olivia. It was something that she always had, almost a necessity at times. Never once was coffee not there for her.

"The man back there, he wanted me to give you this." The bright eyed and bushy tailed waitress handed Olivia a folded up piece of notebook paper. As Olivia looked back at who the waitress was referring to, she felt like she was going to be sick. Quicker then she had before, Olivia grabbed her bag, coat, and rushed out of that shop. She didn't even have time to enjoy her coffee, but this matter was much more pressing then some cheap day old cup of caffeine she could get anywhere.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, sounding like it was going to burst through her ears as her legs carried her back to her apartment door. Her keys finally managed to make their way into her hands, and as quick as her door unlocked, it was slammed shut. She sat down, taking off her heavy wool coat and pulled out the crumpled, folded note she had stuffed into her purse just a couple of minutes prior. Opening this note could possibly open up a chapter of her life that she might not want, but the most frightening aspect of that was that it was completely in her control. She just had to decide what to do with it.

A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy the first chapter of the new story I've been working on. I'm really proud of this one, and I have been having such an amazing time writing it for you guys!


	2. Chapter 2

The tips of her fingers graze over the weathered piece of notebook paper. As she flips it open, she is met with handwriting that she was all too familiar with, and one that she would never forget.

"Shit." Her maroon painted nails gripped the paper tighter, as her eyes scanned the letter that was addressed to her. Her stomach dropped as she read the signature at the end, signing off with the word "love" written beside their name.

The letter slipped from her hands as her grasp was loosened with the decision to get something to drink from her old, broken fridge. She swore the landlord of her apartment hated her, but she lived comfortably so it didn't bother her much. Admiring the NYPD magnet on her freezer, she opened it up and took out a bottle of wine she store there for emergencies and/or special occasions. As the red wine poured into her glass, she heard a knock on her door.

"Just a second!" She said, before taking a quick sip from her glass and walking over to unlock the door. As her eyes locked with his, she could no longer speak and butterflies were consuming her stomach.

"I know you got my letter, Liv. Stop pretending like you don't see me. I'm not invisible, I'm here and I don't plan on going anywhere." He breathed out, just trying to spit the words out of his mouth before Olivia decided that she wasn't going to let him speak anymore.

"I'm not sure what you're trying to rekindle here Stabler, but it's far too late to even try. I'm done with you, and I have been for a long time now. Please leave." She said softly, her voice breaking up at the end of her sentence and she shut the door slowly on his shadow.

"Don't do this to me, please Liv. Don't shut me out." His roughed palm was placed on the other side of her navy painted door, still keeping it open enough for him to still see her.

She could feel her eyes start to water, the sting of tears just threatening to stream down her face. But she was strong. Olivia Benson was a big girl, and she wasn't going to let her ex-partner just waltz right back into her life. She looked up at him, inhaling deeply.

"If you want to talk so badly, can we at least do it tomorrow? I've had an exhausting day and the last thing I need right now is this. How about we meet for coffee at the shop down the street? Tomorrow morning around 8?" Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as the last words came out of her mouth. She didn't mean for it to sound so friendly, but she had to admit that she did miss him dearly.

"That sounds great." He said, clearing his throat. She could tell that he had been emotional as well. They've always been able to read each other like a book. Hell, who wouldn't be able to when you're attached like they were for twelve years.

Olivia started to slowly shut the door, when she heard Elliot speak up.

"Hey, Liv?" He spoke softly.

"Yeah Elliot?" Olivia's voice was just above a whisper.

"Thank you." He said firmly. Never in a million years did he think it would go as smoothly as it had.

"You're welcome, El. Goodnight." She shut the door all the way, making sure the lock the three tarnished handles. The smile wouldn't wipe off her face if she tried.

"Goodnight." Elliot began walking back to his car, content with how his night had gone. He'd finally be able to talk with his best friend again, and he could wait.

A/N: Hello everyone! Thank you so much for all of the wonderful feedback on the first chapter!! I'm really enjoying writing this one it has been such a joy that you all like it. Keep the comments coming!


	3. Chapter 3

The sunlight poured through her wine colored curtains, causing Olivia to slowly stir in her sleep, gradually waking up. As she stood up, she rubbed her eyes, trying to adjust to the morning and what the day held for her. In traditional Benson fashion, she had woken up with only ten minutes to get ready and meet Elliot down the street for coffee.

She stumbled through the maze of dirty laundry to get to her closet, blindly picking out some clothes and putting them on. She brushed through her short hair and puts on some concealer and mascara, trying her best to not look as tired as she felt. She brushed her teeth as she tried to put her boots on, hopping on one foot while trying to not fall over.

The wind tossled her dark hair back and forth as she briskly walked to the coffee shop, hoping she wasn't too late. Her eyes met with his through the glass door, causing her heart to quicken.

"Here we go." Olivia said, taking a deep breath and pushing the door open. Each step towards the booth he was sitting in felt like it was frozen in time. She sat down across from him finally, setting her bag beside her and meeting her gaze with his.

He looked different. Rougher. He clearly hadn't shaved in quite some time, as he was in the middle stages of scruff and a beard. His face looked tired, and the almost three years they had spent apart had not been kind to him.

"Thank you for meeting me here, Liv. To be honest, I wasn't sure you'd come." He said, scrubbing one hand over his face. Looks like Olivia wasn't the only one nervous for this little meeting of theirs.

"Why would you think that? I actually keep my word when I give it to someone." Olivia let out defensively. The hurt in her words stung him like a million tiny, little bees. As soon as she saw the shock register on his face, she instantly regretted her stab at him.

"Fair enough." He said, looking up into her eyes to show her that he mean it genuinely

She looked down at her hands that were around the coffee Elliot had ordered for her before she got there. Even after all this time, he still remembered how she liked her coffee. After all, it is all their partnership ran on for twelve years.

"You have a right to be angry at me, Liv. I fucked up. I know I did." His hand scrubbed up and down his face, exhaustion evident as he exhaled heavily.

"What was your point in contacting me?" She asking, as she placed her hands folded together on the table.

"Olivia, I need your help. You're the only person I trust that could do this right." Elliot looked into her eyes, and his own were starting to become glossy with tears.

"What's wrong Elliot? What is it?" Her dark brows furrowed with concern.

"It's Kathy, Liv she…" He was trying to get the words out, but was only met with a knot in his throat and tears threatening to spill.

Olivia placed her hand over his on the table. Her heart almost beating out of her chest, and worry consuming her mind.

"She was kidnapped." He let out, and Olivia was stunned by his news.

"What? What happened? When did this happen?" Her detective brain was already switched into gear, looking up at Elliot for some answers.

"Almost four days ago. That's why I had to find you. God damn police have done nothing to help us. They won't let me on the case because she's my ex-wife, but I can't just sit here and wait like nothing is wrong. She's the mother of my children for Christ's sake…"

"I didn't know you two were separated. I'm so sorry, El. I can try and help however I can with the investigation, but it's strictly business." Olivia said softly, looking up at him.

"No need to apologize. It was coming for a long time. I know this was a lot to put on you, and so sudden on top of it all. How about we talk later and I can brief you on the details and what my plan is?" He asked, clearing his throat.

"Okay, that works. Just message or call me when you want to go over everything and we can meet back here again."

"Sounds like a plan. Thank you Olivia, really. Your help means more than you know right now."


	4. Chapter 4

_Did she really just do that?_

Her heart was still pumping with adrenaline from the bomb that her former partner had just dropped on her.

Walking back to her apartment, she started to process the encounter. The encounter she had with Elliot _Stabler_. It almost seemed unreal, like a deep dream.

The key twisted into the lock, but this time was different than all the others when she had jammed that piece of metal into her door. It represented a new reality, and one she was overwhelmed by.

A mixture of anger and relief battled in her mind. There was still so much unresolved shit that they had not talked about. Oregon, his absence, all that's been happening in her life since he left. The fear that he would just disappear once more when the case was over made her stomach drop.

"Maybe joining this case wasn't such a good idea after all." she sighed softly, looking back at the contents of her day sprawled out onto her coffee table.

She fingered the letter over again, reading his words once more.

Her palm rested on her forehead, thoughts churning on what to do with this mess.

 _Honesty is the best policy. Or is it?_

Typing her thoughts into her phone, she decided to just click send.

A mixture of relief and anxiety filled her mind as a deep exhale left her body.

His three gray dots appeared on the screen almost immediately, making her jaw clench.

He always was one to respond quickly. Never missed her calls or texts, and on the rare occasion that he did, always had an ample reason as to why.

 _I understand Liv._

Three words were all it took for Olivia to start to remember her old partner.

 _I have some talented people on my team now that could help. Meet me at the station tomorrow?_

 _Sounds like a plan. Thank you for the help. -El_

She smiled slightly knowing that Elliot was at least open to the idea of going back to his old stomping grounds. Not to mention meeting her new team, one that was _very_ different from the one he remembered.

Turning off the lights and turning in to her bedroom, she was excited to see Elliot this time. They would be back where they meshed the best, and she had been longing to do that for so long.

To walk in sync with him again.

To glance up at him during work.

To bounce ideas back and forth and tease each other.

To be partners once more.

She'd give anything to have one more shot at their partnership and she hoped that tomorrow would be able to be the start of it. Or at least a stepping stone to repair the damage done to their relationship.


End file.
